Unregistered Resident
The Goose
One bird. No dues on file. No forwarding address. The single most persistent violator in the community, and the only resident this board has never once succeeded in citing.
The Goose files
Every documented encounter, in order of escalation.
⚠ ONGOING VIOLATION — RESIDENT UNRESPONSIVE TO ALL CORRESPONDENCE
LOCATION: RETENTION POND & ADJACENT COMMON AREA
Known violations
- Occupancy of common area without an approved reservation
- Failure to remit annual assessment, nineteen consecutive cycles
- Obstruction of the walking path, daily, at the same hour
- Unauthorized water feature use outside posted hours
- Unapproved structure — a nest — erected without architectural review
- Aggressive conduct toward a board member holding a clipboard
- Bringing guests. Many guests. None of them registered either.
The board’s position
It is a resident
It lives here. It receives the benefit of the common area. Therefore it is subject to the covenants, and therefore it owes dues. This is the majority position and it has never been put to a vote.
It is not a resident
It owns no lot, holds no deed and has signed nothing. The minority position, held by one member, quietly, who would rather not be quoted.
It is wildlife
The legally correct answer, raised once by the property manager and never raised again, because it ends the discussion and the discussion is the point.
Response protocol
- Do not approach the goose. It has been approached. It went badly.
- Do not send another letter. There is no mailbox. There has never been a mailbox.
- Do not deploy the drone. The drone has lost to the goose before.
- Do not attempt to tow it. It is not a vehicle, whatever the amended parking policy says.
- Accept that the goose was here before the subdivision was platted.
- Go home.
Standing in the minutes
The goose has appeared in the minutes of eleven consecutive meetings without ever attending one. It has been assigned a violation number, a case file and, briefly, a parking space. It remains in good standing with every resident who is not on the board.
Goose merchandise is available in the store. The goose receives no royalties and has not been consulted. You can also report it yourself, which is what the board would want, and which will not work.